I had a tough time in graduate school. Many (most?) people do, so I am certainly not unique in that. It was, however, nearly always grueling and very often traumatic. I felt like I was the worst version of myself: the most neurotic, anxious, tightly-wound, unhappy, irritable person I could be. But now, miraculously, I find myself in a vibrant small city, with kind colleagues and interesting students, with a paycheck and dental insurance. I feel the surfeit of anxiety and anger and cynicism and defensiveness beginning to wash away. And that---stay with me through the apparent non sequitur here---is in large part why I was so excited about The Dates. They seemed somehow emblematic of this new life, of new possibilities and opportunities, of potential.
Making a glass of wine emblematic of a major life change assigns it enormous weight, so I'm trying simply to note this feeling and do the next thing: grade the papers, find a place to jog, begin to meet people at my new church, reply to emails, go on another date... all without freaking out too much.
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